


Humbug

by orphan_account



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Blow Jobs, Car Wrecks, Christmas, M/M, Pity Sex, can i tag this as pity sex, it kind of is, not really but it does break down
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-10
Updated: 2012-12-10
Packaged: 2017-11-20 20:05:27
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,147
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/589151
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Cronus invites Kankri to his Christmas party, but when they're both struck by misfortune, they realize that the only thing they really need is each other. NSFW.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Humbug

**Author's Note:**

> The summary is terrible, it isn't actually heart warming and sappy, there's hardcore gay sex in here. OK? OK.

Kankri got the call on Thursday evening while he was getting out of work. Normally, he would ignore a phone call this late at night, especially while he was still grading papers, however he took one look at the caller ID and knew that he had to answer it. After all, it was Cronus, and he was kind of persistent when he knew that you gave a fuck about him. Kankri slipped into the men’s restroom and answered the phone.

“Hey there, Kankri. I’m having a Christmas party tomorrow, just wanted to see if you got my E-vite.”

Kankri had gotten the E-vite, and truthfully, if everything went well, he planned to attend. Cronus had never thrown a party before, at least, not one that he had known of, and this one had at least 30 people on the guest list. Kankri wasn’t really one for parties, but he figured he’d probably stay close to the corner. 

“Yeah, I got it. I’m thinking about attending,” Kankri said.

“Really? Cause seven people canceled already,” Cronus said. There was a pause on the end of the line. Kankri shifted position on his seat. He was definitely going to go, if this sort of thing was happening already.

“Well, did they present themselves nicely? I’d assume you wouldn’t be that disappointed if they were polite to you.”

Pause. “They were decent, I guess.”

“Then there’s nothing to worry about, I guess. I assume you’ll have a sufficient guest list for a very pleasant evening. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’ll have to get back to work.”

They said their goodbyes and Kankri hung up the phone. He walked out of the restroom, putting his phone away and adjusting his hair. He was certain Cronus would be all set, the only thing to do was sign out and gather up his things. 

Kankri got through three-quarters of the next day, Cronus’s event always in the back of his mind. By the time he was driving into town to pick up three of his sweaters from the dry cleaner’s, his car began stalling in the middle of the road. Luckily, after starting it a couple of times, he managed to get it to the dry cleaner’s and back home. Driving back, he wondered why he even kept the car at all. His car was a garbage heap, it had been his father’s, and maybe even his grandfather’s. It was always breaking down over one thing or another. Cronus always offered to take it off his hands for a couple thousand, and occasionally he considered it. But then a few other times he worried about how he would replace it, or about using public transportation, so he always said no to his offers. 

Finally, 5:00 rolled around. Kankri pulled on his favorite christmas sweater, a pair of jeans, and got in the car. It was agreeable this time, and started with no complaint. He drove for a little ways in the dark before problems began to set in. Just before he turned onto Cronus’s street, his engine began to sputter. A few thin wisps of smoke spiraled from the hood, and it screeched to a halt in the middle of the deserted road. 

Kankri got out of the car and looked under the hood. A black plume of smoke spewed out and hit him in the face. There must be something wrong with the engine. Kankri realized the only choice was to push the car to the side of the road and walk the rest of the way to Cronus’s apartment.

He got behind the car and pushed with every ounce of strength in his wiry arms. The car’s wheels didn’t budge. He pushed again, trying to gather all of the last bits of strength he could. The wheels moved about a half of an inch. He leaned against the back of the car, cursing loudly. At this rate, he’d never make it, and Cronus was counting on him. He leaned his head in his hands, letting out a defeated cry. 

He decided he’d try one last time before calling a tow truck and walking the rest of the way. He placed his hands flat on the back of the car and pushed with the last reserves of strength that he had. 

And the car moved. It inched along until it rolled into a ditch in the side of the road. Kankri stood back, shocked at what had just happened, then he felt an arm around his shoulder, pulling him close.

“Hey, chief. I see you managed to show up after all,” Cronus’s voice was reassuring somehow. However, it wasn’t reassuring enough. His car was lying in the ditch on the side of the road, and he had no way of getting back home if he decided to ditch the party. Forget staying in the corner of the room, from now on he would become Cronus’s shadow. 

And Cronus... Kankri looked up at him, expecting him to be occupied with something else, but Cronus was looking down at him with a little half-smile on his face. Kankri could have kissed him. Instead, he said, “Let’s go inside.”

As soon as they entered the building, Kankri knew something was wrong. The entire flat was deserted, there were decorations strewn everywhere, and there were a couple of empty alcohol bottles lying overturned on the counter with the labels torn off of them, what was left of their contents dripping onto the tablecloth.

“Where is everyone?” Kankri asked.

“They didn’t show,” Cronus replied. “I don’t know why, i invited everyone i could think of.” He was leaning on Kankri again, but Kankri realized it was more for his support than anything else. 

Kankri wrapped Cronus in a tight embrace, burying his face in his neck and breathing in his scent. He smelled faintly like cologne and alcohol, and it was obvious that he had been drinking. Kankri felt Cronus pressing his lips against his forehead. He pulled away slightly. 

“Don’t worry,” Kankri said. “I’ll keep you company.”

They entered the house, and Cronus brought out a few more bottles without a word. Kankri declined at first; he wanted to have his wits about him.

“Come on, Kanny. It’s just us here. You’ve had a rough day,” Cronus said. Kankri cringed at his old nickname, but still picked up one of the amber colored bottles and took a sip.

The bottles began to pile up, and Kankri began to feel a bit cloudy. He began thinking about things he never would before, like what Cronus’s lips would feel like against his own, what he would taste like, what it would be like to curl up with him on the couch and feel those strong arms sliding around his waist, then feel his hands as they moved lower...

“What’s wrong, Kankri?” Cronus waved a hand in front of his face, breaking his train of thought before it moved into uncharted territory.

“I think I want to kiss you,” Kankri mumbled. _Shit, did I actually just say that?_ Cronus didn’t seem to mind, though. He was reaching his arm around Kankri’s waist in an instant, cupping his face with his other hand. Kankri barely had time to react before Cronus’s lips were pressed against his. 

Cronus licked Kankri’s lower lip, cupping the back of his head with his hand and showering him with fierce, forceful kisses. Kankri was nearly pressed down into the couch cushions by the sheer force of it all, and he needed time to catch his breath, but Cronus wasn’t letting him up. Cronus softly bit Kankri’s earlobe, then kissed his way down to his neck and shoulders. Kankri could feel his teeth through the thick material of his sweater. 

“Do you want me?” Cronus whispered into Kankri’s ear. 

Kankri nodded, still in shock from everything that was going on. Cronus kissed him quickly on the lips, then the jawline, then pulled the neck of his sweater down to trail kisses down his collarbone. Kankri pulled his sweater up and over his head so that Cronus could kiss his way down his stomach. When he got all the way down to Kankri’s waist, he found that Kankri was already sporting a very massive hard-on. 

“Woah, Kankri. I didn’t know you had it in you,” Cronus said, one hand moving to grope his cock through the material of his jeans. 

Kankri shivered at the feeling of Cronus’s hands on him, bucking his hips up against the palm of Cronus’s hand without even thinking about it. He hated being out of control like this, and that was probably the reason he had been celibate for a good portion of his teenage years. But here he was, lying flat on his back on the couch at the mercy of Cronus’s hands, and as he felt Cronus kiss the tip of his cock, all of his ideas about purity went out the window. 

Cronus unzipped his pants, and his cock was exposed to the open air, curving slightly upward. Cronus wasted no time in covering it with kisses, and Kankri felt his tongue pressing to the tip before he took it partially into his mouth, sucking on it before pressing his lips to it again. Kankri let out a pathetic whine as Cronus licked a single stripe up his cock, felt the heat from his tongue on his aching member. Cronus meant to draw this out as long as possible, and Kankri couldn’t do a single thing about it. 

“Ngh... s-stop teasing...” Kankri managed. His hand found its way to Cronus’s hair, urging him forward. 

Cronus wrapped his lips around Kankri’s shaft and sucked, his tongue running along the base and lapping up the precum that leaked from the tip. Kankri was trembling now, raw from pure need. Cronus slipped his hands underneath Kankri’s body and lifted him, and when Kankri felt his cock hit the back of Cronus’s throat, he cried out, reaching his peak, energy surging through him with the sheer force of his orgasm. Cronus caught it all between his lips, locking eyes with Kankri as he swallowed. 

Cronus slid up next to him, and Kankri felt him kissing his mouth, his cheeks, his neck. He let the kisses wash over him, still glowing from the intense orgasm he had just had. After a few more kisses, Cronus slid off of him, and Kankri felt him slide one hand under his upper back and one under his knees, lifting him and pulling him close to his chest. Cronus lifted him and carried him all the way to the bedroom, laying him down on the bed. Kankri slipped his pants off, and they lay in a crumpled pile at the foot of his bed.

“Well?” Cronus asked. Kankri noticed that he was sporting an impressive boner. “Do you want me to fuck you, Kankri?” 

Kankri imagined what Cronus would feel like inside of him. Just the very thought was making him hard again. He nodded again, and Cronus dropped his pants, retrieving a container of lube from his dresser, and began slicking his cock with it. Kankri spread his legs, and Cronus positioned himself in between them. He gripped his hips and slowly slid himself inside of Kankri’s entrance. Kankri gasped at the sensation, his body tightening around Cronus’s cock. Cronus stroked his hair and pressed a kiss to his lips. 

“Relax,” he whispered. Kankri wrapped his legs around him, trying to relax his body enough so that Cronus could start to thrust. And it worked, at first. With a bit of gentle coercing on Cronus’s part, he was able to get to the point where he could begin slowly moving himself in and out. The slow pace was killing him, but after all, he knew that Kankri wasn’t used to having anything inside of him, especially nothing as big as Cronus’s cock. 

“Oh my God, Cronus,” Kankri moaned. Cronus wrapped his hand around Kankri’s cock that was pinned in between them and pumped it, still thrusting in and out slowly. Cronus managed to lock eyes with Kankri at that moment and noticed his expression, his posture, everything about him. That’s when something clicked, and their pace became less agonizingly slow and more sensual. Cronus pressed several kisses to Kankri’s neck as he felt himself approaching orgasm. He heard Kankri’s breathing speed up, and soon, Kankri was spilling all over their stomachs. Cronus thrust deep inside of Kankri’s body, his orgasm long and intense, pressing his mouth against Kankri’s neck to muffle his moans. 

He pulled out and lay back on the bed, and Kankri held Cronus’s hand, kissing him on the cheek without a word. Neither of them dared to say anything about what just went on, but both of them knew that it was the best thing that could have happened at Cronus’s christmas party.


End file.
